The weekend was great. H's 8 of 8 of 8 dinner party on Friday night was delightful, even though I got drunk and freaked about not being at home. H put every effort into the food which was awesome. She is good at stuff - mainly just being awesome.
Went shopping with Zap for party supplies and went for lunch with his ma and pa. Found a bunch of tiny dinosaurs for $2.50. Brought the shit out of them. Went home and I lay in bed pretending to be asleep for a few hours while Zap and George tried to put the house together for Zaps birthday. Zap worked out what was going and got me to help tape things to the wall, instead I bitched at him for the next 2-3 hours until he suggested I return to my room. Great Job. Drinking game right up, rest of the night a bit of a blur. Nearly all my favoritist people were there apart from Hams. Seriously, like.. fuck, i dunno, stuff happened. It was great. Was probably a bit too forward and open about the fact that I was going to bang Tom. I bangedTom, it ended the night as far as I was concerned. The next day the house was epicly dirty, with stains all over the walls, it looked like a ..fermented grape threw up over everything. The sticky floor was worth the very great night. Spent Sunday nursing an overpowering hangover and watching the worst movies ever made.
Got kinda strong sleeping tabs that make me go a bit loopy. Woke up Tuesday morning with half my body off the bed and my head upside down, pillows thrown around the room and mattress half of the bed. Was so dizzy to have woken up upside down and seemed to have tipped the sick into my head. Didn't get to go out night of public holiday thanks to super sickness that won't leave me alone. Went to the mall with those guys on Wednesday. My ass fought some crime. Came home and had some drinks with boys and then continued to get completely maggot with Zap. I was meant to go to my parents to visit the doctor that actually gives a shit about me but my dad cancelled by accident. Freaked out and bothered Zap with my tears and boo-hooing about things that are better left unsaid and forgotten. theres nothing I can do to change things now.
I don't feel like there is anything that is in my control that would fix whats wrong, I have buried so many skeletons - I have so many regrets. I know why sleeping is horrible, I just don't know how to fix it.
