Yesterday a girl from work who hasn't been in for a week and half without calling, rang up and spoke to me. She is quite obviously in the midst of a mental breakdown. She ranted for quite some time about infinity and the fact that she has finally found the love of her life and its making her go crazy... She gave me this message to give to everyone:
"I want to thank you all for you support, I've been to the doctors dot dot dot and they have informed me dot dot dot that I'm head over heels dot dot dot crazy, infinity symbol"
So that's a bit strange, I am really concerned that my actually giving them that message will result in her being fired. I guess if she is incapable of doing her job its the right way to go.
At dinner last night I voiced my annoyance about never being able to use my car. I used the car 4 times on the weekend and each time I had to put fuel in it, and someone would jump in it in the mean time and take it and use all of the fuel and it wouldn't be there when I wanted it, and then i spent my last $70 on petrol to go to Maleny and Maloolabah. Its like this every single time though, its like they just fuck with my car in every way possible so i keep falling through a huge magnet of debt, I'm already up to $5000 and that stupid piece of shit car that I never get to use is the reason for this.
So apparently, if I let the conditions as is, that is, my brother driving me to the train station and picking me up when I require Monday thru Friday and my allowance to drive it wherever at night, and there always be money in the glove box for fuel he will fix it all up for free for selling it.
These things are wrong with it:
*hood lining
*power steering pump
*radiator flush
*screwed up wheel from last time a mechanic fucked me over.
and he will fix it for free so long as I pay for parts with these conditions:
*I can use my OWN fucking car if I give one night notice Monday through to Friday
*he won't leave it with no fuel EVER
*He will fix it for selling within one month of me moving out.
The contract is written on a piece of tissue paper so its basically set in stone. I have a feeling there is nothing even wrong with my car, they are just trying to mess with me some more.
Our first application for a house has been rejected. Its so fucking hard when I work full time during the week, and the inspections on the weekend have 70+ people looking at them. The shortage is so fucking bad, rent is higher then ever. We will just keep doing it until someone accepts us.
R is the best I love him to bits.
I'm going to the doctors later on in this week and refilling my sleeping pills script. Its been probably 2 weeks since I went to bed before 2 am and I get up before 6. Last night I couldn't sleep and I thought that I could hear things in the walls again, and then in my pillow. I can't take that anymore. I slept without a pillow for like 5 years because I thought I could hear things in it, it affects my dreams really badly, like falling and hitting something and waking up suddenly kind of thing. So anyway, I looked at the watch and it was 3 so I got up and watched TV for some time and went to bed and woke up again at 5 crying from whatever it was I was dreaming about. Its the worst when u actually wake up crying. gah, so over it.
bye bye creativity
