My leg has not been working in the way that a leg should work, and I have been going to physio for it. Today when I went there the woman said that today would be trying to work out if there was a way that I was walking which was damaging my leg (which there is, which is caused by having a fucked back). She was all like, touching my feet, and stuff for like, a fucking hour. There is no way that you can get out of a situation like that without looking like a complete nut job.
I don’t think there has been a time when I have felt worse about myself, I’ve put on weight, I’m peeling like a lizard and I’ve got actual burns from super sunburn Saturday, I haven’t had a hair cut in like 6 months, all my clothes are old and tatty and now, after some woman spent an hour touching my feet I have ‘orthotic’ soles to put in my shoes.
My mind has spent the last week or so completely consumed by trying to work out how I could afford to buy an apartment. I’m starting to give up hope, I get a shit wage and no one will lend me a decent amount, I couldn’t afford to get a 2 bedroom place and I imagine it would be very lonely living by myself if something ever happened between Zap and I. I just wish that I could make shit like this happen. I could live there for a year – get the $14,000 first home buyers grant, sell it for a profit, use the money to go overseas.
The fucking nightmares are back. Jesus Christ life is so much better and easier without them.
To have more of a whinge, I’m feeling inspired for once but too fucking tired and without time to do anything with my ideas.
