Well, we’re in the new house. I feel incredibly weird about it. Moving day was an epic proportion of a few hours but we managed to get everything looking pretty put together by maybe 10pm. I didn’t go to Tims Uber night, but he came around for an hour or something before they left on the Wednesday, so I was meant to make up for it on Saturday night, his extravaganza of a goodbye night. We ended up being a few hours late thanks to my freaking out about the new house. I was so drained. I really really didn’t want to move, it was like admitting defeat. I really didn’t take it too well. I pulled the short straw in the whole ordeal, for the old house, all of it were things no one could predict and bad choices. I knew it would turned up like this. I guess I don’t cope very well with change. It feels to be starting over and starting over and starting over and never really getting anywhere for nothing. The world feels to be spinning so fast right now, but I can’t tell if its because I’m sick or because I’m hurt. I’m sure in a week or so my perceptions will be clearer. I’ve got some huge cloud in my head that I can’t work out.
I was trying to ignore Tim until he left so I wouldn’t get upset saying goodbye, but we went to the Mono. I’m glad I did. It was like drug fiended spastic times of 2007 only this time there was no Jordyn and I wasn’t fucked on every drug under the sun. Tim was the king of Mono. Dancing on the bar like Coyote Ugly. Thats a shame. Tori and I once again attempted to befriend one another. Perhaps now that Tim is gone it will be less awkward, but now that Tim is gone, Jordyns gone, Paulas not really around so much anymore, I don’t know why I would have to. It was all to nothing. Tim got me teary in a little deep and meaningful out the back of the Mono. Apparently I actually did mean something to him. I don’t even remember how we got home. Tobes and Hams decided they wanted to stay and turned up in a cab really late. I was in my underwear for reasons unknown running out the front of our quaint little cottage to welcome them, we were having reunions when the neighbour put his head out of the window “Show some Consideration, Its 5 am on your first night! Keep the noise down if you want to get along!” to which I reply “I’m sorry I’m not wearing pants!”
Fucking. Great first impressions.
I’ve been in this weird... sad mood for a few days now. I was on drugs and was worried about going to bed by myself, but then I woke up hams in his underpants spooning me and Tobes spread Eagled next to me, the great big bear of a man he is. It was brilliant. We spent all the next day lying on the lawn with Josh. We we’re going to have a picnic but I didn’t have any food, but I did have a blanket so we did it anyway. Heavily tattooed dudes not wearing shoes walking around the shops near my house we quite attention seeking.
Bit of a housewarming on Sunday night. None of my home friends came; they decided I now live all together too far away to make the effort. I had so much fun. My legs were so sore from dancing the night before and moving stuff but there was still energy for more... I only regret lollies being squashed around my room. I guess all the drama that went with Tim yesterday i forgot about anything else that happened.
I think I slept for like an hour, I got up really early stressing about Tims last day and meeting him at the airport and junk. I had a shower and put on make up, but then I started getting upset about what I looked like and what to wear because it was the last time he’ll ever see me. I know he promises to come back for my 21st but I don’t feel like i’ll ever see him again. I really really care. I wrote him this epic long letter reminiscing about all the great times and how much I loved him. We folded it in the shape of a plane, it was great. H was a fucking legend. She put up with me crying ALL day and took me to the airport and everything epic like that. A big group of people were there to wave him off. Everyone was crying. I know I shouldn’t be, but I was glad Tim was crying. I held up until I was out of sight and then lost it for the rest of the day.
Zap had some delightful movie about magical cats, and we had a fridge full of leftover booze. So h and Zap and I got sloshed. The movie ended and Tim and Eric went on at which point I was the drunkest I had been in at least a year, besides the bottle of tequila incident, and thats a HUGE call. I don’t remember H leaving. All of a sudden me and Zap were walking down to go somewhere, the shop was closed, and then Zap lost his shoes, and then we ended up at Rosalie, then old Milton house, then IGA, then Mcdonalds and then Paddington. I had no idea what the crap was going on. We stopped for directions and the shop people told us we were a long, long way from home. Two dudes were like, Hey We’ll drive you home. I wasn’t keen because bad things happen to me but Zap was all for it so we waited for them to choose a movie and then they dropped us home. Thanks Joe. We ended up watching silence of the lambs and staying up pretty well all night drinking.
