Literally I close my eyes and all I can see is a rotting old man pressing his face against mine. I close my eyes for a second, to blink, i can see this image of this face pressed into mine. It's been a week, and he won't leave me alone.
I have this trap inside my head. A complete other dimension full of stupid complexes, ridiculous theories and nightmarish visions out to psychologically debilitate me. Through dreams is an entire alternate universe that are windows of time forced to a conflict. the part I hate most is that I bring back the scarring to this reality and develop complexes about silly things. Everything I'm afraid of is brought from these hellish nightmares that I can't seem to get over even though its in a different land, a different universe. If I could stop dreaming I would be able to get over stupid things that are huge hurdles for me like heights, claustrophobia, dentists and fuck, even feet. But when I have 2 places I could be at and at the time everything in both places is real, how can I learn to ignore it. If i chose the other way round it would just be me, in a coma, the end. Sleeping is so frightening and such a chore because its stepping through the portal. I need to start going to a better place, I just need directions.
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Drinking games last night were great. Catching up with Shanz and Court was really good. Both are long time friends of good value. there was no way Geo was getting out of "I have never, have you ever?" alive. Zap farted on Courtney, fuck yeah. It was so nice to spend the night with a bunch of the most favoritest friends, inside and cosy. fuck you, weather.
