Well, if possible Geo just made me feel a lot worse about the wisdom teeth thing. Thanks. Seriously. Thanks. I really enjoyed the joke. Really. One of your better jobs.
I had to go to the consultant thing yesterday where they explain exactly what they do to you. I wish that I was capable of going to these sorts of things without bursting into tears. Its oh so pathetic. He was making me listen to exactly what they do because its ‘criteria’. They will make you pass out.. and when your passed out they put tubes up your nose.. and needles in your arms... its a possibility you will get nerve damage... you will wake up your cheeks will be cold... you will have to sit in recovery for an hour... then you will be in pain for a week.
I’m really worried about having a panic attack before they make me pass out. That happened when I broke my arm, and all these people were holding me down while they held the mask thing over my face as I flailed around. I suspect repeating that experience is what’s worrying me most. I know I was super drugged at the time but i made some poor choices in that hospital experience. Recovery was the worst part. The recovery room. Where you are conscious, and people are moving all around you. It’s like being in a dream you can’t wake up from. When I finally got to leave they took the drip out of my arm and it started gushing blood, everywhere, it just wouldn’t stop and I freaked out and tried to get away from it. My own arm. Great job.
I wish that I wasn’t afraid of sleeping. If I didn’t dream I wouldn’t be afraid of anything. Sleeping is the creator of all my fears.
I’m going to give the “POWER OF OPTIMISM” a shot.
Oh well. Meeting Jake yesterday for lunch cheered me up a lot. He informed me I was being silly, and then he lost $150 bet at the casino. We got delicious juice and I went back to work. I was set for a fail weekend to go with my fail persona, luckily, it was average, kind of. The party with those guys was fun. I got epicly drunk though. Epicly. Rolled down a hill with Rothwell which wasn’t a good idea as it was cold and wet, so we did it again. There were jelly shots and people who didn’t really want to know me. H gave me some pretty birthday earrings. I love Lyn and she was there so it was a good night. I wish I had not of had that ‘fall’ though. It has to be one of worst ones. I don’t remember how it happened but I sure did come to meet Mr. Ground.
Went shopping on Saturday, brought things that I could not afford but I enjoy them ever so much. I got a mustard coloured shirt. MUSTARD. “Mr Mustard, marching forth, mustard. Musssssstarrrrddd. Berrrrrghhhhhhh”. I am disappointed no one has faith in the colourful buttons on office shirt idea of the 21st century genius awesome idea. BTW. Fuck you, Rad Pitt. How does one get such luscious locks. Went to little Nickys party first. The set up looked so pretty, and the fire engine red chairs were so appreciated. Katie was excited about her delicious cob loaf that was enjoyed by all. Nick curled his hair for the occasion, and DJ’ed the fuck out of the night, he is simply delightful. Conversed with age deceiving brothers about how Zap could suit any name but ‘Door”. Decided to give it a shot. Nicks brother fell for the joke. Silly guy.
Wanted to stay for longer but the distance away seemed to great and we left. I didn’t really enjoy Chrispy’s that much. It was fun play fighting and junk but the rest of the time was spent yearning for cigarettes and watching people play guitar hero. BOOOO. On the way home Tom ordered 10 cheese burgers, the women in the box was like. 10. 10. 10 like one zero. Yes. 10. I lay in bed for hours on Sunday morning. Just laying there. It was calming. Edwi picked me up to go see sex and the city. We got caught in traffic, we were late to the movie, I lined up but couldn’t pay because it was cash, went to an atm, discovered $30 was missing from my account mysteriously, had to sit in the front row of the cinema because got the last seats, the movie was upsetting, and Edwi crashed her car into a pole. Fail day. Got to Kitty O’Sheas, was in a super bad mood so decided to go before Geo’s band, went to buy cigarettes, felt sad coz Zap left without me when I was gone, but he came back. Spent the rest of the day feeling really sad and defeated. Really, really sad and defeated. Napped in the afternoon but had a devastating dream that ruined me for the rest of the night. Decided I’m going home to spend time with the long lost’s for the weekend, it might make me feel better, even if I have to sleep in a bed that’s not mine.
