I feel like I'm in the eye of the storm right now. I've felt pretty good for the last couple of days, this went from the edge of the world back to being pretty much OK. Its good, but it makes me almost nervous. I worry about dreaming about him, you can't escape the subconscious.
Today I cleaned and reaaranged the house so that it doesn't look like its missing anything. I didn't want to sit and stare at the places he had once been and remember.
My brother didn't like his job, so the house situation isn't sorted yet. That really sucks. The results came back from the STAT thing I did in an attempt to increase my ranking to get into uni, and it was not good. I already knew I bombed pretty spectacularly in it. I am extremely nervous about being rejected by university for next year, I guess this is the first time I have been relatively certain of which direction I would like my life to take and I can't deal with any more step backs right now.
If I could had any money at all saved right now, I'd leave the country for a few months. It wouldn't be the best idea to take out a loan for such things.
