One of the worst things about the breakup was wondering how I was going to take care of myself. When I got sick, he was there, he looked after me.
I drank way too much last night and went down with the same sickness I seem to be experiencing a lot lately. Its not proportionate to how much I drink and it is pretty much impossible to foresee. I got home at around 2 in the morning or thereabouts, and couldn't leave, couldn't move from the bathroom. Once the sun had come up and I was still there, it was really clear I wouldn't be able to sort myself out, so I had to call H to come help me.
Friday night I was followed home from the train station by a drunk man, I can't protect myself, its so fucking terrifying.
Its really not getting any easier. Honestly, nothing has ever hurt me this much. I can't take care of myself apparently.
