A bad point about having a blog and being as honest as I, it may give pre-conceived notions.
I hope that there is not any animosity towards R. He really is a lovely person who is honestly no regret to know. He is my friend, one of best and he is going through a bad time. His actions recently have been a reflection of his issues, not of his personality.
There has been an avalanche of lose on me recently. I haven't been capable of talking about it, but some were pestering me. I posted parts of it on here and in retrospect I regret it. I regret all of it. This is only one side of the story, with the main issue being one that very few really understand the workings of.
Someone who has never first hand experienced this kind of thing first hand can have no concept of it all really.
For the moment, I have decided to stay in the house. I need to be there for R.
I feel disappointed. Disappointed that I feel that failure is expected of me. It feels that, no matter how hard I try something will fuck up that is far beyond my control.
No one could have predicted any of this.
While I really, really appreciate the support from my friends some reactions or opinions on the whole thing have me very withdrawn.
I wish I could change things.
