R came back a day early from Toowoomba.
He said he would pick me up from work so I agreed, but then I had to stay back and do a report so I ended up making him wait for like an hour and half for me. He got to come up to the office though. Parking was like $25 but he wouldnt let me pay for it, I felt like a jerk.
So I get in the car, and he has brought a bottle of champagne and a glass, for me. he turns the car on and its playing Beth Orton "Central Reservation". It was because I played it the other day when him and I were cuddling each other. It was like... so incredibly thoughtful and nice of him. We had this big talk and I said I had come to a lot of conclusions and that I probably wouldnt be able to handle being in a relationship. I'm really not in a good state of mind, I'll have sort myself out before I can think about being with someone.
It sucks. I really want to be with him.
At least now it will probably be ok living together, Im afraid he will stop liking me and I will be alone in a one sided never getting closure circle of what could have been.
We went to get ice cream with P and B at Cold Rock last night. it was delicious.
I made R sleep in his own bed.
