Classic Caboolture.
The McDonalds was free. Some guy who used to go to Narangba worked there. P wanted to keep drinking so the plan was to go to her house. We went for an epic drink drive, stupid I know. I was just too drunk, so B took over, no license, drunk learner. Nothing bad happened so whatever. We waited for P to get to her house after she went to pick up Emma from Rory's party we were going to go on an adventure but apparantly Sue, Rorys girlfriend got punched in the face by Chris M during a fight by accident, and Jessie and nearly all boys at the party went to Chris M's house after it happen to get revenge or something, he locked himself inside the house and dared them to come in, So of course Jessie did and smashed his elbow through the glass and Paula had to take him to hospital instead.
Saturday B and I went for a picnic at Rocksberg. It was pretty. We went in the river and we met a nice man who gave us his inflatable lounge and we floated down the river. Saturday night I was going to go to that 1 guy and then Joels party. We didn’t end up going to that 1 guy and I finally got to stand T* up. It’s a shame I didn’t get to see snappy dresser Adam, Burney & H who would've been there. We went in pretty early and had some drinks at C's. He's on the 20th floor of 128 Charlotte Street and his apartment is pretty much amazing. We got a maxi taxi to Joels party
(Sorbi, C, B, Ly & Ed). Joel was wrecked by the time we got there. like WRECKED. (see left). He was such a wreck, he started yelling at me incoherently something like "You’re leading me on, you better chill the fuck out". LOL, he just came and apologised today with his head hung in shame. The party itself, like.. while well put together the people were fucking jerks, I mean sure they were trying to make friends with us and stuff but they were complete pretentious jerks. We still had a great time though in the company of the maxi taxi group. I accidentally did the splits in the hallway because it was so slippery and I also fell off the balcony coz I thought I could climb it, apparently I was too boozed and lost balance. We got a cab back to C's, and had some more drinks with Ed and B. Ly passed out and when P came to come pick us up I literally had to wack her in the face and Ed dragged her out for her to get in the car. LOL!Ly, B and I went to the beach on Sunday. It was good. I was deliriously tired. I was really hoping to catch up on some sleep on the weekend because the opportunity was there, but insomnia hit once again. We went to Bar soma last night to watch Jess McAvoy and Henry Wagons. It was so pretty. We got to speak with both of them, and I high fived Henry. Jess invited us to stay and drink but the deliriously tired part meant we left at 11. I saw a cab crash into a pole. That was cool.
On other notes,
R situation: FAIL.
So watching him when we went out with B the other day, he kind of plays us both. I think he may have changed his mind all of a sudden about me. This whole time he has been texting B the same as he was, and he told her he likes her as well, and he told me he likes me. I think he got pretty confused. He seems to have decided that he would keep pursuing B or something. Its a bit late for that though, asides how I feel about it, B said she was only in for the attention and that she doesn’t actually like him that way. R kind of fucked up pretty bad. I don’t know what he was thinking. He sent B a message saying, "Get her to hook up with someone" or some stupid high school crap like that, of course B showed me, I got upset. He basically dealt with everything really badly. I mean, why would he bother telling me he liked me if he did indeed like B, they would have been together or at least hooking up PROBABLY and I would never have said anything. It just... none of it makes sense. I feel like he has gone behind my back. So whatever yeah that side of things is definitely over.
It’s definitely confirmed my thoughts I am not ready to be in a relationship anytime at all in the near future. I don’t trust anyone and I figure they are out to get me.
I've just become aware of how extremely paranoid I am. I think EVERYONE is out to get me, then I think I’m just being paranoid but then I think I'm not because they actually ARE out to get me. I'm beginning to think I’m some kind of magnetic force for negative happenings in the universe.
That’s crazy talk.
Another thing I realised about this weekend is that having no money makes you feel like shit. People paid for me for once and were MORE then happy to pay me back for my apparent generosity in the past. That made me feel really good, well shit for having no money but good because my friends and my cousin are so fucking awesome, not because they were buying me stuff but because they just are.
I feel like I'm just the worst person in the world. I love B to death but I'm always annoyed with something and she copps the grunt of it so many times. She is basically the best friend anyone could ever hope for.
T* rang me on Saturday, to say he was thinking of me.
After I said J and I had made up, in a discussion with B about the make up she said "I didn’t care about anything she had to say, I just let her speak to make peace" so fuck that. That’s what a "final straw" looks like.
I'm still feeling horribly low. I’m not sure when it’s going to snap out. I had to go home Friday because I knew I was going to turn into emo drunk. I woke up on Friday after maybe 3 hours sleep hysterically crying.
