Monday blogs are mainly always regail about the weekend, and Im suspecting this is going to be a mega long post so I'll start there.
Friday: Friday was said "Drink day" at work. it was a pretty awesome day, all the directors were out so there was rucus in the office. We got a mountain of donuts from dreamy donuts and lollies all day. On the lunch break we went to Fridays to chug beer, also cool. Came back to the office and had a party. It was great except for someone pointing out that you could see my underwear were lacey through my dress and I felt eyes on my butt for the rest of the day. I was so frick trashed by the time 5:30 came around.
R and I had a minor disagreement during the day, but he still met me as planned with Ly when work was over. They walked, I stumbled to Wagamammas where it was a catch up dinner with the girls. R decided he was ill and went home, Ly and I ordered another bottle of wine.. To be honest I kind of missed the dinner, those sorts of things would be good to remember but I was altogether too trashed. I really havn't gotten over J being a huge bitch and I'm pretty sure were in the middle of a break up, I ignored her all night I think it might have been awkward for everyone. It was still good to see all, even though I don't remember any kind of conversation we had.
O'malleys was next... some memories are missing... Geordie and Tony were there and we had drinks. Jumped in P's car for an epic drink drive home, note: red light means stop. Geordie and Tony were going to come back to my house but lacked the neccesary impulse it would have taken and failed.
We had to stop at Tony G's on the return trip home because they had left a whole heap of my booze there. We got there to find they had drank a lot of it, and Char invited them back to my house. P has a 2 door charade, 7 people crammed in.
The rest of the night was sucky. They were so fucking loud and drunk. My mum was getting really pissed off. understandably. R and B .."made friends" it was super hard for me. I think Im in love with him. The randoms stole a heap of my parents booze and trashed the place. I got really upset because 1) I was so drunk 2) I felt all my friends were using me 3) my friends suck sometimes 4) I'm getting increasingly more like this 5) fucking R.
I couldnt sleep at all. I just lay in bed all night and by all night I mean between the hours of 4 and 6am. R came running in at like 5 in the morning and grabbed me and declared he was in love with me, I told him to go back to B. We deserve a prize for having the weirdest relationship ever. I don't know how I always end up in these intense relationships with boys that don't involve sex. I met him 2 weeks and 1 day ago, we've spent everyday together since and now hes living with me in my parents house, we sleep together, kiss each other, we plan on moving out together and hes kind of seeing my best friend. I really wish I didn't feel this way about him. I have to suck it up and get over it because I'm not ready for a relationship and I need to move out. It just super sucks hes moving on with my best friend and I have to live with someone I adore so much. I'm going to force myself over it. He lets me in how feels about me and I ignore.
With absolutely no sleep R and I left at 8 am Saturday to go inspect some houses, probably going to fail yet again. This is fucking ridiculous. We got breakfast out and looked at a place in St. Lucia and Paddington and I went to work.
Basically I was extremely down all weekend nearly, I felt so dazed. Saturday night my house had a blackout so I went for a drive with R so we could listen to music, we went down all the windy roads to Rocksberg (The herd of cows covered the road again, this time R jumped out and chased them and said he was like Jesus with the parting of the cows) and then up to Bellmere mountain type thing.
I had planned on going to the valley to see one of his friends bands, and he said they weren't playing anymore and that he wanted to see B. I was going to go out to see Zac and Geordie and stuff but then P & B invited me with them to the valley... and then I decided I was too tired but I didn't want to stay at home by myself, so then R stayed home with me too. I feel weird, if he says hes going out with B does that mean I cant come? but even if P is going am I the third wheel, do I have to give him space.. but they are my friends...
Yesterday my mum decided that she had to fence the entire yard to keep in my dog, and to repay her I had to give her the full day of labor. To start with she made me clean the tack shed it was like.. a place where all my phobias are, except for there was no giant cliff ledge. It was fucking awful. There was a plague of moths that kept flying at me, spiders fucking everywhere and even a fucking snake! I'm sick of doing this un neccessary tedius bullshit. It was filthy and so freakin hot. I felt so nostalgic and failed looking at all the tack for my horse. FAIL. I am lose.
I wanted to go see Cloverfield so R and I went rewarding ourselves for the nerve shattering labor, we went to get pasta first. I invited P and B but I assume there phones were off, I invited T* but of course he was a no-show and I invited Hannam but he has a broken eye socket type thing so he couldnt come either, so it turned out to be like a romantic date, last thing I need. I accidentally kissed him in the movie, I dont think he realised how real it was though.
I'm really torn as to whether or not I liked Cloverfield. One thing for sure is that I was fucking dissapointed.
T* sent me indirect message during that afternoon confirming he is leaving to Europe forever on June 8th. I suddenly had a huge outburst of cry onto R's shoulder. I decided to ring T*, R seemed to get upset and he went out. I had a bit of a telephone catch up with T*, he promised to make time for me before he left, I invited him to come see Cloverfield but of course I am too lose.
This morning was fucking shit.
I slipped over in the mud when I went to feed the horses, I actually put effort into my hair for once and then it rained, I dropped the entire contents of my wallet on the ground when I went to buy a ticket, The train broke down 2 stops after I got on so I had to wait nearly an hour for them to tow it to the next station to get off, I decided against getting on the city train that was sitting at the station with the promise that there would be another train that would be EXPRESS! there was but, it was a long term train and there was no seats and no bars to hold onto and people were canned in, some guy used this as an excuse to grab my arse when the train jolted and then I was late to work.
I feel the WORST.
Get over it. Get over it. Get over it.
